Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 22 Feb 1999 13:21:07 -0500
"The Cherry Tree"
"George Washington, did YOU chop down the cherry
tree?"
"No, Dad."
"I think you are lying."
"No, no, no! I swear I did NOT chop down the cherry
tree."
"Son, I saw you out here with your axe. Your
punishment will be much worse for you if you lie.
Now, tell me the truth!"
"Dad, I answered your question truthfully. Still, I must
take complete responsibility for all my actions. While
my answer was legally accurate, I did not volunteer
information.
"Indeed, Dad, I did cause the cherry tree to be lying on
the ground. To do this was wrong. It constituted a
critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my
part for which I am solely and completely responsible.
"I know my answer to you gave a false impression. I
misled you, my own father. I deeply regret that.
"I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors.
First, by a desire to protect myself from the
embarrassment of my own conduct.
"I was also very concerned about protecting Mom from
this shock.
"What I did, Dad, was use a saw to cause the cherry
tree to fall. Only after the tree was already do on did
I go get my axe to chop off individual branches. So, I
chopped off branches, but sawed down the tree.
Look at the saw cut on the stump and the axe cuts on
the branches. Therefore, legally, I told the truth.
"I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of this
fallen tree and to return our attention to a solid family
relationship."
{I do *not* want to hear from Clintonites or Clinton-haters.
Try to remember that it's only a joke. - LadyHawke}
***********************************************************
"Clinton's Dream"
Bill Clinton has a dream in which he meets George
Washington. He says, "George, what can I do to
make things better for the people?"
George Washington says, "Lower the taxes."
Clinton replies, "Oh, George, I can't do that."
The next night, Clinton dreams again but this time
Thomas Jefferson is there. "Thomas," Clinton says,
"what can I do to make things better for the public"?
Thomas Jefferson replies, "Lower the taxes."
Clinton says, "Ugh! You, too? I can't do *that*!"
The next night, Clinton dreams yet again, and this
time Abraham Lincoln is there.
"Abe Lincoln," Clinton says, "what can I do to make
things better for the people"?
Lincoln thinks for a moment and then says...
"Er.... Go to the theater."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Feb 23 1999 - 09:00:09 EST