When launching a boat, always back the boat
into the water. Pulling the boat into the water
can really mess up your carburetor.
When waterskiing, never allow a feisty duck to
hitch a ride on your skis.
Always stay at least five boat-lengths behind
the whale in front of you.
While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean,
screaming does not help.
When boating, always wear a swimsuit with
suspenders. This makes it easier on the guys
with the grapling hook when they're trying to
retrieve your body.
Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath.
And you don't even want to think about what it
does to your complexion.
Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard.
Also, it's a good idea to take along something to
read, in case you're swallowed by a whale. Most
whales seem to enjoy Moby Dick.
Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some
states, but it's stupid in all of them.
**********************************************************************
"Out Fishing"
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten
track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running
through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his
heels.
After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his
hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally
caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.
With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a
valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box
of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he
don't have one."