AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
FORD
backwards -- Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late
Every day.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular
Leftover Equipment
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
*********************************************************************
"Learning To Drive"
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father,
who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father
said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study
your bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it"
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they
could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud
of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible
diligently,
but you didn't get hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know dad, I've been
thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair,
Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."
His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"