So, you want the day off?
Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are
365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks
a year in which you already get 2 days off per week, leaving
261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each
day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving
1 days available. You spend 30 minutes a day on a coffee
break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68
days available. With one Hour for lunch period each day you
use up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available to
work. You normally spend 2 days a year for sick leave. This
leaves you only 20 days available for work. We are off for 5
holidays per year, so your available working time is down to
15 days. We generously give you 2 weeks off for vacation per
year. This only leaves 1 day available for work.
And I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!
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"Best Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping In Your Cubicle..."
1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved
about in that time-management course you sent me to."
3. "I was working smarter-not harder."
4. "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."
5. "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our
mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
6. "This is one of the seven habits of highly
effective people!"
7. "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."
8. "I was trying to remember where that difficult
"Z" Key was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on
my brain, or at least my forehead."
9. "I'm in the management training program."
10. "I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination
Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last
mandatory seminar you made me attend."
11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last
night when I dreamed about work!"
12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to
relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate
against people who practice Yoga?"
13. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost
figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
14. "Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine
is broken..."
15. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
16. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just
won't wear off!"
17. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
18. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian
rhythms of the workaholic!"
19. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my
contact lens without my hands."
20. "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I
was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
21. "Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."