LadyHawke
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"Roast Ghost"
KAY MARTIN, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the
fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland
Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink
when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded
in some distress, so they went outside to investigate,
thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the
neighbors. But there were no chickens anywhere.
Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming
from her own kitchen--coming, in fact, from the oven, where
she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier. "It
was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says.
"It was so bizarre I just froze."
As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a
crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken
began to cool, the squawking died away.
Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She
noticed that the vocal chords were intact. "Steam was
coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and
this had caused the dead bird to squawk. She has not
cooked chicken since.
I don't think I would either......... - LadyHawke
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"Faster Than A Speeding Chicken"
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a
unique device for testing the strength of windshields on
airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead
chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the
speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from
the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird
during flight. It seems the British were very interested in
this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new,
speedy locomotive they're developing.
They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the
chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the
windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an
instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall
of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked
the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done
correctly.
The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one
recommendation:
"Thaw the chicken."