Jack was driving home after a hard days work, and he was
not in a good mood. Nothing at the office had gone right,
and so when he was about to make the turn off and a car
came wildly careening around the corner in his lane, he
was furious! To make matters worse, the lady driving the
car stuck her head out the window and yelled "PIG! PIG!"
Jack couldn't contain himself any longer. He rolled down
his window, stuck his head out, and shouted,
"YOU OLD BATTLE AXE!"
Still fuming, he drove around the corner . . .
and run into a pig... standing in the middle of the road.
***********************************************************************
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the
cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn.
Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped
through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the
two hapless protesters to death.
**********************************************************************
"Slanguage Problem"
A young bloke has started work on a property, and
the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do
some fencing work, but come evening he's half an
hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check
if he's all right.
"I've got a problem, Boss. I'm stuck 'ere. I've hit a pig!"
"Ah well, these things happen sometimes," the boss
says. "Just drag the carcass off the road so nobody
else hits it in the dark."
"But he's not dead, boss. He's gotten tangled up on
the bull bar, and I've tried to untangle him, but he's
kicking and squealing, and he's real big boss. I'm afraid
he's gonna hurt me!"
"Never mind," says the boss. "There's a .303 under the
tarp in the back. Get that out and shoot him. Then drag
he carcass off the road and come on home."
"Okay, boss."
Another half an hour goes by, but there's still not a peep
from the young fella. The boss gets back on the CB.
"What's the problem, son?"
"Well, I did what you said boss, but I'm still stuck."
"What's up? Did you drag the pig off the road like I said?"
"Yeah boss, but his motorcycle is still jammed under the truck."
{For my foreign subscribers, cops are sometimes referred
to as pigs. Why? I really don't know nor do I care to find
out. - LadyHawke}