LadyHawke
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"Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?"
A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for
his graduate students. It had one question:
"Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have
some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a
mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what
rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and
volume needs to stay constant.
1. So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure
will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by
Therese Banyan during our freshman year, and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having
sexual relations with her, then # 2 cannot be true, and,
therefore, hell is exothermic."
. . . . . . . . . The student got the only A.