Due to Clinton's escapades, The Lord added an 11nth
commandment:
11. Thou shalt not stick thy rod in thy staff.
LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Limerick Contest"
Contest Requirements: To use the names Lewinsky
and Kaczynsky in a limerick.
Contestants' Entries:
Entry # 1
There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
--Bill Ward
Entry # 2
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that white stuff off of your chinsky.
--Martha Thorrens
Entry # 3
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
Given the choice to be blown.
--David Dieckmann
Entry # 4
There was a young girl called Lewinsky,
Who caused as much stir as Kaczynski
When on Kenneth Starr's lap
She confided, when trapped,
"Bill Clinton is hung like Nijinsky." *
(*Nijinsky is a thoroughbred racehorse; not to be
confused with the long-dead ballet dancer, whose
private attributes are not known.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bill Is Watching TV"
(heard in Britain from a stand up comic by G E Carr)
Bill Clinton was at home, sitting down flicking the channels
over when he sees the Miss Universe contest on and starts
to watch it. Then the phone rings suddenly.
"Hello," Bill says.
A husky female voice breathes into the receiver.
"I've always wanted to listen to your voice while masturbating,
Mr. President," the voice purrs down the phone.
Bill looks shocked and says,
"That's amazing! How did you know I was masturbating?!"