A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out
and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey said, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified deer stammers,
"Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in
the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and
roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with
his trunk, and slams him against a tree half a dozen times,
with the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari
wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it
looked like a corn tortilla, crapped on it, and ambled away.
The lion hollered after the elephant flippantly,
"Geez, just because you don't know the answer, you
don't have to get so mad."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It Was A Tall Task...."
A mouse and a lion walk into a bar, and they're sitting
there chugging away at a few ales when a giraffe walks in.
"Get a load of her," says the mouse, "I fancy that!"
"Well, why not try your luck?" says the lion.
So the mouse goes over to the giraffe and starts talking
to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and
gone into the night.
The next day, the lion is in the bar and the mouse staggers
in. The mouse is absolutely ragged, worn out, ruined.
The lion helps his pal up onto a stool, pours a drink down
his throat and asks,
"What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with
the giraffe. What happened after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse says, "Yeah, she was really something else!
She invited me back to her place to spend the night."
"But how come you look like you're so exhausted?"
asks the lion.
"Well", says the mouse, "Between the kissing and
the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!"