An American tourist, while vising Moscow, boasts to one of the
locals, "We have great freedom in America. At any given moment,
I can dial the White House and tell President Clinton that he stinks!"
The infuriated Russian replies, "Hey, that's no big deal! I can do
the same thing! At any given moment, I can dial the White House
and tell President Clinton that he stinks, TOO!"
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You have reached White House Voice Mail............
Thank you for calling the White House. You have reached the
White House voice mail system. No one is available to take your
call at this time because the entire administration is out to lunch.
Please follow these instructions carefully to leave your message.
When you are finished, don't hang up until the FBI finishes
tracing the call. Have a nice day.
If you are male and would like to leave a message for the
president, press 9.
If your are female and would like to leave a message for the
president, press M-O-T-E-L-6.
To leave a message for Mrs. Clinton, press N-O-W.
If you are male and would like to leave a message for Chelsea,
press N-O-W-A-Y.
To leave a message for Buddy, press D-O-G.
To leave a message for Socks, press D-O-G-F-O-O-D.
To leave a message for Roger Clinton, press A-A.
Tol leave a message for Ted Kennedy, Press 7-A-N-D-7.
If you are from Arkansas, ask the next person who walks by
to show you which button has a 2 on in and then press it.
If you are calling with a question about affirmative action,
press 3 and step to the back of the phone booth.
If you are calling to arrange a night in the Lincoln bedroom,
press D-O-L-L-A-R.
If you are calling to arrange a White House coffee, pres Y-E-N.
If you are calling to support Hillary's birth control program,
press F-R-I-G-I-D.
If you are calling leave a message for Janet Reno, press
W-A-C-O.
To leave a message for the president's advisor on women's
rights, press O-J.
To leave a message for Steven Spielberg to give to Barney
Frank, press E-T-P-H-O-N-E-H-O-M-O.
To leave a message for a member of Congress, press
B-I-G-D-O-N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
To leave a message for the Gore 2000 campaign, press
H-O-P-E-L-E-S-S.
To speak to an operator, press O.
To speak to a slick operator, stay on the line and the
president will answer your call shortly.