On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take
a leak."
In a Nonsmoking area: "If we see you smoking we will
assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian
except the dog."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're
looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash
condition."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your
feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary.
We'll hear you coming."
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd
salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!"
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you
send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry,
come in and get fed up."
Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear
a pin drop."
On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minute."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll
wait."
In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory.
Growing wise is optional."