Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 24 Dec 1998 08:52:58 -0500
As you know, Santa's reindeer are not a luxury but
a method of transportation. Just ask any Eskimo!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Pre-Christmas Flight Check"
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from
the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA
examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas
flight check.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and
bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and
made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew
they would examine all his equipment and truly put his
flying skills to the test.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He
checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and
even Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's
weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous
payload.
Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got
in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and
checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in
carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell
you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in
Santa's ear, "but you're going to lose an engine on takeoff."
************************************************************
"Pulled Over"
A New York Police has pulled Santa over to the curb,
asking, "Why are you driving on the highway when you
are supposed to be in air?"
Santa replied, "My Pilot Driver License expired yesterday.
Now you want to give me a ticket for not wearing my
seat belt?"
***********************************************************
"The Winning (?) Answer"
The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the
leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!
"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned,
"name two of Santa's reindeer."
The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of
relief, gratified that he had drawn such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" he said confidently, "and, ...Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign
above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded
into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll
accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!?'"
"You know," the man circled his hand forward impatiently
and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer -
had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would
even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Dec 24 1998 - 09:00:07 EST