Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 13 Dec 1998 05:45:26 -0500
"Frequently Asked Questions About Christmas"
Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he
become old?
A: He only appears to be old. He's an undercover kid.
Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer,
wouldn't you fly too?
Q: Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead
of a "Happy Christmas"?
A: The two are about the same, but with "Merry
Christmas" an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.
Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down
called a "live Christmas tree?"
A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time
of its life.
Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly
faked) in the recipients.
Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A: Nowadays, only four angels can dance there. Formerly
there was no limit, but OSHA passed the Angel Safety Law
recently, which also requires that the pin must be inspected
twice each year for structural defects.
Q: How many gifts can Santa Claus's bag hold?
A: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there's
a limit to everything.
Q: How could a star that is high in the sky lead the Wise
Men to a tiny manger on the ground?
A: Wisely, toward the end of their journey they asked
directions from someone on the road. Had they not been
so wise, they might have missed the manger by several
hundred miles. (That person on the road has never been
identified.)
Q: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?
A: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus
next time you see him.
Q: Why do we hear so many bells at Christmas time?
A: Because so many people ring them.
Q: Why do so many people ring bells at Christmas time?
A: For the poor, for the joy, and because a bell can say
what words can't say.
Q: What can't words say?
A: The moment you wake up on Christmas morning,
listen carefully. You may hear then what words can't say.
************************************************************
"Where Grandma Lives"
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool,
I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the
house.
"Is that your grandmother?" I asked.
"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her,
we just go out there and get her."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sun Dec 13 1998 - 09:00:01 EST