A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta help me!"
The doctor asks, "What's your problem?"
The guy says, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning
flagpole'... I give the missus a quick one, and then go to work.
On the way to work, I carpool with the next door neighbor's
wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work.
Once I get there, I do some work and then at morning tea
time, I go into the photocopy room and crank one out with
one of the young office girls.
At lunch, I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a
good boinking. For afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a
good servicing. Then, I go home and slip the maid a few
inches. Then at night, I give the missus another screw....."
"So...????" asked the doctor. "What's your problem?!?"
The guy says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate!"
****************************************************
"The Best Sex?"
A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a
few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.
They're having a great time. She was on top when
suddenly she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking
and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this
was incredible -- best sex he'd ever had. He finished, but
she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure.
He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.
A nurse asked what the girl's problem was, and he replied,
"Er.... I think her orgasm is stuck!"