10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you
immediately scream, "Get off my back, jerk!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back
to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind, you've forget often how
to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it
through ...er.... Monday.
4. You sleep more at work than at home.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail
right now.
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"How To Look Busy At The Office"
Let's face it: Some days, you have nothing to do; other days,
you have plenty to do but absolutely no desire to do it. Look,
we can all empathize, but your boss is probably less than
understanding. So, here's "How to look busy when you're as
unproductive as those pandas in the Washington, DC zoo," in
which we explain how to display a summary of the space on
a floppy disk:
1. Insert a floppy disk in your floppy disk drive.
2. Click the Start button.
3. Choose Programs + Windows Explorer.
4. In the All Folders list, right-click your 3 1/2 Floppy (A:) icon.
5. Choose Properties from the shortcut menu. Windows
display a summary of the space on the floppy, illustrated--and
this is important--with an informative and very officious-looking
pie chart.
6. Click OK.
7. Repeat for as many floppy disks as you have handy.