A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a
seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to
the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat."
The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady.
It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself.
The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you
would give me that fan." The girl gives her the fan, too.
Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus
driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he
has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block.
With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew
what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." The bus
driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she's
walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you have? "
The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies,
"Chutzpah."
~~~~~~~~~~
Note: Having Chutzpah is an equivalent of having balls, or
having the nerve, or having guts or... oh, never mind. You'll figure
it out. - LadyHawke
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"A New Mom"
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman was
finally able to have a baby. All her relatives come to visit to meet
the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother said, "Not
yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother
once again said, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother
said, "When the baby cries." So the agitated relatives asked,
"Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother guiltily admitted, "Because I forgot where I put it."